Hi Ladies,
I'm back again.
If you watched the video above you have an idea of what this article about. This post is perhaps going to be a little more interactive than posts of past. Today I would like to talk to you about an issue that affects all Nigerian women in Nigeria and here in the diaspora (as well as many other ethnicities).
I would like to talk to you about skin bleaching/lightening/toning! This is not a "how to" article although I may write something on it after more research. This is not a debate on if bleaching is right or wrong (this is debatable) nor is it a research article on the dangers of overuse/misuse. I can write about all of this at later date. This article is a discussion on the mindset behind bleaching/lightening and your opinions on how this affects families as a mother and/or wife.
THE QUEST FOR BEAUTY
With my focus on business and home economics you may be surprised to see me of all people write about something as trivial sounding as lightening or anything relating to beauty for that matter. But, I ask you, why wouldn't I? Why wouldn't a married woman, entrepreneur, housewife, professional, etc care about beauty and take note of the trends in lightening as a supposed beauty tool. After all we are all women, many of us have partners and those without would like to have partners who first of all see your appearance before they know your personality or character. Even in work and business how you look, from skin, hair to clothes and shoes makes a difference in your success as people perceptions of you are inextricably linked to your appearance also. So beauty is important to the majority (if not all) of us. Even those who do not care what men see them as physically become intimidated when met with a beautiful woman.
So what is our perception of beauty? If you look at the video, bleaching apparently accounts for the skin colour/texture of approximately 80% of Nigerian women and it even claims it is the most common place in the world for skin bleaching. Is this the Nigerian perception of beauty? Is this a statistic to be proud of?
Furthermore if you visit forums like skincaretalk you will see an array of advice from across the world assisting people make the steps necessary to lighten skin tone. Nigeria, America and UK being the most common contributors to the discussion.
I believe skin bleaching is less rampant amongst Nigerian women in the UK, than in USA and it is less in USA than in Nigera from what I have read (feel free to correct me if you think I am wrong). But is this due to a difference in opinion of beauty and societal norms or more an issue of availability and affordability? Me thinks the latter is true and not the former personally. As I have come across many cases where men still objectify light skin and mixed race girls as being more beautiful and more desirable.
THE MINDSET BEHIND BLEACHING
Looking at peoples reasons in various countries for bleaching/lightening there appears to be a difference in why they are used. Take two Mahogany complexioned ladies for instance, we'll call them Lady A and Lady B. Both are using the same peels, soaps and creams advocated as lightening and toning agents (the term bleaching on products no longer being marketable because of the taboo) as well as sunblock.
Lady A claims to be lightening to remove 'permatan' that is a permanent tan caused by staying in the sun without protection and the wanting to revert back to her 'true colour' whilst creating an even tone instead of the patches of dark marks caused by lack of skin care and acne marks too.
Lady B makes no bones about fairness in skin colour being a superior skin colour to be desired. She states she wants to turn from Gabrielle Union colour to Leona Lewis in 6 months.
What do you think of Lady A and Lady B? Any difference?
Okay read on...
After 6 months they both turn out to be the same colour. A riddle for you who bleached and who toned? Or were they both toning/lightening or just both bleaching? What do you think of Lady A and Lady B now? Did your opinion of Lady A change? In reality many women who use skin peels and soaps (and perhaps some creams) do just want to even skin tone or remove a permatan and only lighten a shade or two or the most their natural skin shade would have been and stop there and maintain. But some only state that is there aim and do something else. Are these ladies not as bad as those who openly ridicule dark skin?
Okay read on...
What if I told you both ladies were married to dark skinned men and had two mahogany complexioned kids each (a boy and a girl each). The boy being 11 and the girl being 14.
Is Lady B's mindset more dangerous than Lady A's to the children? Will lady A's children still view fairness as superior?
This is a hypothetical story of two women, who could be real.
Hydroquinone is common in dermatology offices in America even though it was banned in Europe for its cancer risks. Two regions very similar in outlook took to very different stances on the same ingredient. Is it possible that the problem is not the product but rather people's minds and perceptions of what beauty is?
QUESTIONS FOR YOU
Would you use any of these products if you had a dark butterfly like patch on your face caused by pregnancy hormones for instance (melasma), or bad sunburn or outbreak of acne/chicken pox?
If the products are not bad - although some are lets be real the packaging apparanetly can say one thing and contents are something else. But If you can find the pure unadulterated products can they be used responsibly and educationally without deceiving one-selves?
What is your opinion? Do you know of any safe products to use? How do you stop yourself getting caught up in the wrong mindset. How do you evaluate your motivations? How do you prevent any damage in love of what God gifted you with in your children and prevent them from taking things to the extreme or developing skin colour complexes?
Your opinions are much appreciated. I will do more articles specifically looking at chemicals used and possible effects and maybe I will even do a video/pictorial on how to use a non-damaging cost effective regime that does not cause you to lighten past your true tone. After all, I have just as much uneven texture as the rest of the world, just that unlike 80% of Nigerian women (apparently - cos I'm not sure it is this high), I choose to use foundation to conceal instead of toning lotions to correct!
That is until now...
Remember to subscribe to my blog for updates of this Nigerian woman in London, UK.
Hugs and Kisses
Ella
Tuesday, 9 April 2013
Tuesday, 19 March 2013
Are you a Family CEO?
Taken from 26 November 2012 by Liz Hull at Daily Mail
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2238439/Housewife-No-Im-familys-chief-executive-90-middle-aged-women-control-paying-bills.html
Are you a Family CEO?
A UK survey has found women control family finances, something most UK Nigerian women did not need a survey to work out (look up Proverbs 31 for insight).
This newspaper article is dubbing these women as the "Family CEO", or "Domestic CEO".
They say being called a housewife is not an accurate description of what they do, their roles being more closely linked to a director in a company. I presume this makes the husband the shareholder who wants to see a return on his investment and the children may double up as employee owners.
93% of those who were not the main breadwinners made all or most of the financial decisions.
These include tasks such as:
- Ensuring bills payment,
- Making sure there was no debt/cashflow problems
- Budgeting and monitoring expenses
Decision making, of the women questioned:
90% decided the furniture purchases
92% decided the large appliance purchases i.e. TVs, computers etc
85% decided the family holidays
66% decided the family car.
So do you fancy yourself a Family CEO? If so you better learn the jargon from Daily Mail (I especially like the last one, lol):
Natasha Galstaun's story:
Natasha Galstaun, 43, likens running a home, to heading a multinational and believes it deserves respect.
Natasha Galstaun, says of her husband, “He pays the mortgage but I look after everything else, from the bills, to childcare, to any DIY. I book all our holidays and social life and cook from scratch every night.
“We’re also selling our house, so I’m looking for a new project to do up — a total wreck, ideally. I impose deadlines on my day, to make sure I have spare time. I’m always on the go. By the end of the day I’m frazzled.”
Galstaun, who lives in Surrey, quit her job as an interior designer to be a more hands-on parent to Sacha, 4, and Felix, 2. She sees herself more as a “domestic chief executive officer”.
As domestic CEO's mums now take on a number of roles equivalent to:
- head accountant,
- chief administration expert,
- financial adviser,
- school liaison officer,
- executive decision maker,
- travel agent,
- party planner,
- cook,
- nurse,
- cleaner,
- decorator
The term “Housewife” for some no longer covers the JD!!
KEY SKILLS NEEDED TO SUCCESSFULLY RUN A HOUSEHOLD?
As there is so much to do the greatest skill needed is organisation.
Other important skills include:
- Leadership,
- Motivation
- Management
Sounds like a CEO right? Hence the term Family CEO.
What makes a housewife a domestic CEO?
One word mostly: Money.
Instead of an allowance, a domestic CEO has unrestricted access to all household finances.
PURCHASES: Crucially, she also has sophisticated budgeting technology i.e. instead of buying an appliance from a favourite store it means spending days reading different price comparison websites and reviews before buying either from store or online.
CASHFLOW: If cashflow turns negative, CEO turns CFO (chief financial officer) suggesting cutbacks.
“‘I feel it’s my responsibility to make sure we get the best deals on energy bills and TV, so I spend a lot of time researching those,” says Galstaun. “My mother didn’t hold the purse strings, whereas I have free access to all the money. I have to be on top of the budgets to make sure we can do the things we want to. In a sense I’m financial director as well as everything else.”
FAMILY TRAVEL AGENT: See LateRooms, Lastminute.com, TripAdvisor and Sky- scanner for bargains. Chauffeur for children (and sometimes husband is also a newly added skill.
HUMAN RESOURCES: Arranging playdates is the child form of team-building exercises! If the family has the surplus cash she may employ staff to carry out chores and childcare. However, tutors for exam time are a bare necessity.
"The CEO may also have to deal with mergers (new stepchildren), hostile takeover bids (attempts by other women to seduce her husband) or the increasingly eccentric demands of long-term board members (elderly parents)."
“Women now feel they have to employ the management skills they used in their high-flying careers at home,” says Tanith Carey, a domestic CEO and author of How to Be an ‘Amazing Mum’ When You Just Don’t Have the Time. “For many women who give up successful jobs, raising children and running the household becomes their second career.
“Their role becomes to reflect the family’s success with the most perfect homes, dinner parties and children. Their appearance must be immaculate, since they are the ‘image’ of the firm. Many women I know talk openly about the importance — and stress — of being seen to run an efficient, flagship household, as a reflection of the family unit’s success.”
Children, of course, are the domestic CEO’s most high-profile and thrilling corporate project — and one where the competition with rival family firms can be especially fierce.
“There’s a high expectation even when they’re very young,” says Galstaun. “You have to send them to rugby, music, ballet, theatre. We’ve even been talking about sending our children to Spanish classes. It can be quite nauseating how parents big up their own kids, as a kind of reflected glory.”
"In a world saturated by marketing, it is almost as if parents have come to see their family as a brand (take a bow, Beckhams). “Parenthood has become a form of product development”, says Carey, “in which parents believe the more work they invest in a child, the more of a success their offspring will be.”
Even the queen agrees! "When Kate Winslet recently told the Queen she preferred motherhood to her day job, the Queen replied: “Yes, it’s the best job.”
But does this title help or harm women in this position by telling them: "as a domestic CEO, you are contractually obliged to sort everything and everyone out?"
Read more: http://pandce.proboards.com/thread/95034/times-london-call-sahm-ceo#ixzz2NzVr61Mt
Tell me how you think your role as wife and/or mother resembles that of a CEO! What do you need help with, what do you excel in?
Sincerely Yours
Ella
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2238439/Housewife-No-Im-familys-chief-executive-90-middle-aged-women-control-paying-bills.html
Are you a Family CEO?
A UK survey has found women control family finances, something most UK Nigerian women did not need a survey to work out (look up Proverbs 31 for insight).
This newspaper article is dubbing these women as the "Family CEO", or "Domestic CEO".
They say being called a housewife is not an accurate description of what they do, their roles being more closely linked to a director in a company. I presume this makes the husband the shareholder who wants to see a return on his investment and the children may double up as employee owners.
93% of those who were not the main breadwinners made all or most of the financial decisions.
These include tasks such as:
- Ensuring bills payment,
- Making sure there was no debt/cashflow problems
- Budgeting and monitoring expenses
Decision making, of the women questioned:
90% decided the furniture purchases
92% decided the large appliance purchases i.e. TVs, computers etc
85% decided the family holidays
66% decided the family car.
So do you fancy yourself a Family CEO? If so you better learn the jargon from Daily Mail (I especially like the last one, lol):
Natasha Galstaun's story:
Natasha Galstaun, 43, likens running a home, to heading a multinational and believes it deserves respect.
Natasha Galstaun, says of her husband, “He pays the mortgage but I look after everything else, from the bills, to childcare, to any DIY. I book all our holidays and social life and cook from scratch every night.
“We’re also selling our house, so I’m looking for a new project to do up — a total wreck, ideally. I impose deadlines on my day, to make sure I have spare time. I’m always on the go. By the end of the day I’m frazzled.”
Galstaun, who lives in Surrey, quit her job as an interior designer to be a more hands-on parent to Sacha, 4, and Felix, 2. She sees herself more as a “domestic chief executive officer”.
As domestic CEO's mums now take on a number of roles equivalent to:
- head accountant,
- chief administration expert,
- financial adviser,
- school liaison officer,
- executive decision maker,
- travel agent,
- party planner,
- cook,
- nurse,
- cleaner,
- decorator
The term “Housewife” for some no longer covers the JD!!
KEY SKILLS NEEDED TO SUCCESSFULLY RUN A HOUSEHOLD?
As there is so much to do the greatest skill needed is organisation.
Other important skills include:
- Leadership,
- Motivation
- Management
Sounds like a CEO right? Hence the term Family CEO.
What makes a housewife a domestic CEO?
One word mostly: Money.
Instead of an allowance, a domestic CEO has unrestricted access to all household finances.
PURCHASES: Crucially, she also has sophisticated budgeting technology i.e. instead of buying an appliance from a favourite store it means spending days reading different price comparison websites and reviews before buying either from store or online.
CASHFLOW: If cashflow turns negative, CEO turns CFO (chief financial officer) suggesting cutbacks.
“‘I feel it’s my responsibility to make sure we get the best deals on energy bills and TV, so I spend a lot of time researching those,” says Galstaun. “My mother didn’t hold the purse strings, whereas I have free access to all the money. I have to be on top of the budgets to make sure we can do the things we want to. In a sense I’m financial director as well as everything else.”
FAMILY TRAVEL AGENT: See LateRooms, Lastminute.com, TripAdvisor and Sky- scanner for bargains. Chauffeur for children (and sometimes husband is also a newly added skill.
HUMAN RESOURCES: Arranging playdates is the child form of team-building exercises! If the family has the surplus cash she may employ staff to carry out chores and childcare. However, tutors for exam time are a bare necessity.
"The CEO may also have to deal with mergers (new stepchildren), hostile takeover bids (attempts by other women to seduce her husband) or the increasingly eccentric demands of long-term board members (elderly parents)."
“Women now feel they have to employ the management skills they used in their high-flying careers at home,” says Tanith Carey, a domestic CEO and author of How to Be an ‘Amazing Mum’ When You Just Don’t Have the Time. “For many women who give up successful jobs, raising children and running the household becomes their second career.
“Their role becomes to reflect the family’s success with the most perfect homes, dinner parties and children. Their appearance must be immaculate, since they are the ‘image’ of the firm. Many women I know talk openly about the importance — and stress — of being seen to run an efficient, flagship household, as a reflection of the family unit’s success.”
Children, of course, are the domestic CEO’s most high-profile and thrilling corporate project — and one where the competition with rival family firms can be especially fierce.
“There’s a high expectation even when they’re very young,” says Galstaun. “You have to send them to rugby, music, ballet, theatre. We’ve even been talking about sending our children to Spanish classes. It can be quite nauseating how parents big up their own kids, as a kind of reflected glory.”
"In a world saturated by marketing, it is almost as if parents have come to see their family as a brand (take a bow, Beckhams). “Parenthood has become a form of product development”, says Carey, “in which parents believe the more work they invest in a child, the more of a success their offspring will be.”
Even the queen agrees! "When Kate Winslet recently told the Queen she preferred motherhood to her day job, the Queen replied: “Yes, it’s the best job.”
But does this title help or harm women in this position by telling them: "as a domestic CEO, you are contractually obliged to sort everything and everyone out?"
Read more: http://pandce.proboards.com/thread/95034/times-london-call-sahm-ceo#ixzz2NzVr61Mt
Tell me how you think your role as wife and/or mother resembles that of a CEO! What do you need help with, what do you excel in?
Sincerely Yours
Ella
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